Holy crap, quitting my corporate, high-paying Art Director job, was probably the scariest and the most courageous thing I have ever done. Every time I stopped to think about what I was about to do, I’d almost vomit. Yes, TMI? Who cares. Honestly, that was exactly how I felt. I think this was, even more, scarier than having children… the natural way without the epidural.
I remember the day very clearly when I made the final decision to tell my boss that I was ‘officially’ quitting my job.
There were so many thoughts that were running through my mind.
“I’ve never been self-employed, ever!”
“Am I going to be making enough money to support my family and pay my mortgage?”
“How am I going to make money?”
Then my inner monolog got worse… oh it’s possible alright?
“I’m a hack.”
“Who wants to hire me?”
“Who will want to pay for my talent?”
“I am good enough?”
“Are clients going to be attracted to my talents and me?”
Before I went even further with my negative thoughts of self-doubt, I hit the pause button. I immediately said to myself, “Tash, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to? There’s no one telling you-you have to? You’re the one telling yourself to do this? Shall I remind you why?”
“Yes! Yes, please, tell me why I am doing this.”
“You’re doing this because it’s not about you. It’s for all the other people who need you, like your kids, that look up to you, are inspired by you so that they can make a difference in their lives and return, encourage others to do the same – spreading the word of love, peace, and happiness”.
Ahhh… for a second there I think I started feeling less nausea… and then within a few seconds, it was back. For weeks it went on like this, turmoil in my stomach making every inch of my body feel like it was hit by a transport truck.
Until then, I finally said to myself, “Tash, you got this. If it doesn’t work out, you can always get a job somewhere else, and there will always be work. Let go of your pride, your ego and just go all in and not worry about what other people are going to think about you.
Who cares? People are going to think what they want anyway, and there’s not point trying to control their minds of how they feel about you… that’s just plain out exhausting and impossible, so STOP thinking what other people will think of you if you fail.
So what if you fail. At least you know you tried. That’s a heck of a lot better than having regrets in life. Right? Right.”
So after I had myself this little pep-talk, I was onboard with the whole idea again of going off on my own as a mompreneur. I had some ideas of what I was going to do, and that was enough by husband and me to go off on.
The first week:
I was like a kid at school for the first week. Super prepared, had all new stationery, computer, software, and I’m pretty sure I even bought myself a new outfit just to make my first day as ‘boss lady’ that much more exciting (Besides, who doesn’t love a little retail therapy here and there?).
Then I started putting myself out there. Out there as in networking events, online Facebook groups, workshops, and just touching base with old colleagues and friends. Anywhere I could be, I was showing up. Or at least as much as could with the busy mom-life schedule, I maintained (and still do).
After six weeks of trying to ‘make it’ I was called back into my old job but as a freelancer to help fill some vacation gaps. I said sure, and I haven’t left since. That was back in August of 2016, as I write this, that was eight months ago.
Well, there went my go at it. Or so I thought.
I still tried. I still pushed myself to persevere through the 9-5 while trying to build a business from 9 pm – 2 am including weekends.
Have you heard of them? Do you know how to use them? I didn’t. And in all honesty, I completely forgot that I had them.
What the heck was I doing? Hello, Tash. Did you forget that you have a family? That you have other responsibilities to do, such as the basic needs of survival… eat. Sleep. Do laundry. And not to mention raise to young boys and still, find time to spend with your hubby?
At first, I took it all. Whatever came my way. I did this because I was fearful of what if no one wants to work with me again, then what do I do? So I just took it. And let me tell you it hurt.
I’m a strong woman. Not so much physically, but I have a spirit full of fire and once I have my heart set on something… I am in. All in. But this road, this journey that I have decided to travel down with my husband and kids, has had a lot of bumps. Bumps that make you question yourself every single day “Why am I doing this?”
I am thankful and count my blessings every day for my husband, my mom and dad and my closest friends and family. Without them, I could not be where I am today. No question. I am very lucky to have what I have, and not everyone can say that. I tell myself that I must have done something right in a past life to be me in this lifetime.
Here’s how I often find myself describing my support system. On my left side, you’ll find my mom. She is like the motherly extension of me who helps raise my boys as if they were her own when I cannot physically be there for them (such as being there for them at the bus stop after school).
On my left, you’ll find my husband. Always making sure I don’t fall over, lose my cool, and showers me with unconditional love and devotion. I tell ya, this man took his vows pretty darn serious. I won the jackpot with this guy. He’s the best husband and father any wife and child could ask for. He is the real deal, and I count my blessings and tell him ever day how much I love him.
As I’ve mentioned, I am very blessed, and not everyone has this kind of support. If you’ve started your biz too and are struggling like I was (and still am) but don’t have someone to lean on perhaps start thinking of hiring a business coach or life coach.
Before I started my business that’s what I did. Meghan was my girl. She knew everything I didn’t, and she immediately became my lifeline always knowing what to say when my ‘right’ and ‘left arm’ couldn’t help me. Not because they didn’t want to but because they didn’t know how to. And that’s when it’s good to bring in a third party supporter.
Meghan Macintosh was the right fit for me and was what I needed at the time. Never starting my own business before I had no idea what was up or what was down. She helped guide me and made me feel more confident as I began to get my feet wet, as an entrepreneur.
Along the journey of trying to ‘make it’ and trying to settle my sick fear-based mind, there was a need to help solve it. Yoga, at the time, was my only outlet that always put me back home within myself. It still is, but I still felt like I needed some heavy duty tools to help correct this fear based mindset I was continuously having.
That was when I stumbled upon, yes, I stumbled upon them, Malas. You can read about that exciting journey here.
Wowzers. Have you ever heard of these magical things called a Mala?
It’s a beautiful necklace made with genuine gemstones that you use and count during your meditation practice to help manifest and raise your vibration through the Laws of Attraction.
I was so intrigued by these Malas that I decided to start making my own. Then I started teaching others how to make their own as well. Started sharing my Malas on Instagram and Facebook and before I knew it, I was selling them across the pond in Monaco, France, the UK, the USA, across Canada and to lots of places in my hometown.
Talk about a happy accident.
The saying is real, and I am a firm believer in it “When you do what you love, the money will flow.”
And here I am, one year after I quit my full time, high paying Creative Director job, to opening up my e-commerce online store.
I have ideas of where I would like my online store to take me, but I am taking my time with it. I have learned to trust that all things will happen when they’re supposed to. So, I’ve been teaching myself how to build an online shop with Shopify, and so far I am pleased with it.
I bought me a new domain name so that I can keep this blog going and use that one specifically for the shop. Is that the right thing to do? I don’t care. It’s what is working for me for now.
The moral of this story or this blog post is that we don’t always have the answers to the questions we’re seeking. We just have to stay positive and trust that all will be revealed when it needs to be.
… I know it sounds easier than done (and it is) but if there’s any advice I can give you it’s this. If you have a dream, go for it. Never stop and think it’s not possible. Trust that with every problem there is a solution, and if you want it bad enough, you’ll find it. It just might not come out looking how you originally envisioned it, but you’ll have it.
Follow me along on my journey as I plan to continue to share my story as a mompreneur with all its glamour and not so glamourous moments.
Share with me your thoughts on how you’re trusting and having faith in yourself as you venture off on your self-discovery journey in the comments below.
Namasté, Tasha xx 🙂